Currently a great number of symptoms indicate all kinds of mental and physical conditions. I have recently noticed in me a tendency towards an inner split into three parts. I want to call it a triad. The three psychic aspects who are interacting are my inner girl, my inner woman and my inner crone.
Everything is becoming ever more extreme
These days the events in Coronistan become ever more absurd. May it be my recent excursion to Ikea: there you have to wear a mask even if you have a doctor´s note. Or you get accosted for having a doctor´s note, for it is a foul excuse for refusing to wear a mask. That there are also people among us who suffer from asthma or chronic lung diseases doesn´t even cross the accoster´s mind.
Or the observation, that for many it´s actually not the pandemic that is the problem. The problem are the people who are rejecting it or at least question it. They are immediately regarded as conspiracy theorists. According to certain sources 12 per cent of the German populace already adhere to the conspiracy theories. Is that good or bad?
Occassionally people imply that me being a single woman makes it easier to be reckless and inconsiderate than for anyone who has a family. Couldn´t I finally admit that we have pandemic that is not be laughed at? As a matter of fact, I don´t find it funny. But I still can´t take it seriously.
The power of the inner fear
Then there are so many stories from friends and clients that currently many family events are cancelled again. And not because there might be too many people or the curfews and travel regulations impede it. But because the presence of the guest who may not only come from a “risk area”, but perhaps also has a different attitude is considered a threat and potential stress. The mask cannot protect you from this kind of fear. It actually only protects you from being ostracized, from fines and perhaps from fine dust. But not from viruses. It says so in the directions accompanying the mask. But as so many important texts and videos concerning this topic, they are mightily ignored for they don´t fit the personally favoured narrative.
Then there are these dreadful images of infants with masks AND visors, and of children that are only allowed to move within a chalk circle all by themselves in the schoolyard. And I heard of children who are asked to report any kid that is not properly wearing its mask. And then of course there are the increasingly surreal debates in the political arena. For the number and voice of those who differ in opinion becomes ever more voluminous. Nonetheless mainstream media make an effort to ignore them as much as they can.
We are no longer living in a free world. We now live in an inverted world where madness in normal and the normal insane.
My inner girl
She often cannot fathom what´s happening. Why for instance these absolutely senseless forbiddances and regulations that make people ever more sad and lonely? Why is it claimed that it is in service of health and the wellbeing of all when in reality there are more and more people who are getting worse? Something is wrong here? You may not always be able to see it. But you can clearly feel it! So many people have so much fear and are so sad. If you answered to that you´d be busy hugging and comforting day and night. But this is not permitted and so the suffering increases.
My girl then would love to either scream, cry or both; show the finger and spit at the feet of certain people. But in secret she´d much rather sit underneath her covers in bed. There she would read adventure novels about far lands and times and await the hopefully timely ending of the madness. Or the more current equivalent: watch fantasy series on some device and chat with friends. She would do anything to get distracted from the ever growing outrage and despair. But it works ever less.
My inner woman
The grown woman inside me is often sad and baffled. She notices the helplessness in so many people. She also sees that the great majority of people in their innocence and cluelessness want to do “the right” thing. The sweet young people in the flower shop or the furniture store who most kindly request that she puts on her mask seem like cute guileless piglets: they only want to live their pig-ity without molestation and yet they are born for slaughter.
My inner woman asks herself how much expression should you give your own truth? From a legal point of view the kind but sometimes unflexible request to wear a mask is a coercion and therefore prosecutable. Other people have already called the police and were successful in full knowledge of the legal situation. Do all of us now have to have a deep knowledge of our legal situation? And besides phone, wallet, glasses, mask/doctor´s note also know and carry the legal papers around with us? Do we really have to perceive the other as a potential opponent or even enemy? Or be perceived by him like that? We do not want to constantly threat each other, not deliberately nor inadvertently. But the permanently present fear in our daily life tells another story.
So many unresolved fears
This fear is a major causative factor in the symptoms of those who are sick with Covid19. In alternative medicine it is known that any sickness is actually an indicator of an emotional imbalance and that it showing up is part of the healing process that can also include the spirit. However, only if we take that into account as well.
That so many people are currently plagued by subconscious fears that now express in this manner is hardly surprising. For in Germany and in many other countries the traumas of the last world war are still bothering the people. In their trans-generational effect they´ve hardly been dealt with and are certainly not healed. A certain fear of existence is always lurking in the underground and can be reactivated any time. Only very few people feel truly sure of themself and their life.
And my inner woman is full of compassion regarding all the trauma in so many areas that has already occurred and will occur. In school kids or people in jobs that have to wear masks for hours on end: they suffer from a lack of oxygen. And especially the women who have to give birth while wearing a mask, those people who adhere to all the cautionary measures and yet cannot protect themselves nor their loved ones from death.
Social contacts are in a centrifuge
My inner woman regularly experiences odd situations with people with whom she previously had a decent exchange. For now the conversation rather quickly ends in an awkward idleness and all invo
lved seem stuck in a certain lack of mutual understanding. Where formerly only a few rocks representing the different life designs and priorities were protruding from the water that could easily be circumnavigated with a certain aptitude and a lot of tolerance there are now towering cliffs where the old ways of interaction get wrecked more or less noisily. Then both sides look at the wreckage rather baffled and wonder, we don´t like each other less now – or do we?
However you feel you´re not heard or understood and you struggle yourself to hear or rather to accept what the other is saying. Common denominators have shrunk to minute figures. The irreconcilable alienates us more and more from each other. For it is no longer about differing opinions where you could agree to disagree – you sense with more or less awareness that the other is heading in a direction where you don´t want to go. In the mutual helplessness you withdraw from the other and wonder what the future might bring. There will be either a total rupture or a new approach under a new premise.
Irreversible change
For the old code does not work anymore. We are no longer the same people we were before the declaration of the pandemic. And the clock cannot be turned back, no matter how harmless the virus may be discovered to be one day. With this effect the pandemic resembles all the times of great change in the history of mankind, may it be the black death or a war.
And my inner woman feels increasing awe regarding the women of the generation of her grandmothers. They were young women during the Hitler regime and the last world war. They had to take care of their families and be extremely careful of what they spoke about and with whom. They had to watch their own children who might innocently give the differing opinion of the family away and thus put the entire family at danger. Not only regarding the authorities, but also neighbours, teachers and the grocer. And therefore they were constantly walking the tightrope making sure not to get thrown off balance by avoidable danger or personal authenticity. These women too wanted to be a decent role model for their children – according to their own knowledge and conscience.
Cognitive dissonance is spreading
And my inner woman is also aware of the growth of the collective anger on a daily basis. Many people have a hunch and many know that all this is a huge crime against humanity. They know that the lockdown and the mandatory masks had no effect on the number of infections in truth. And they know that the numbers of those who got sick, their symptoms and the alleged deaths are caused by very different things that are just as disquieting.
But that is so monstrous that you rather follow the erroneous, inhumane and truth avoiding narrative of mainstream media. For otherwise you would have to acknowledge there is indeed a ruthless minority abusing the gullible majority for their own nefarious purposes. But no human is and can be so evil. However as long as people are being so willingly manipulated there will also be those few that know how to take advantage of this.
For even if it is announced tomorrow that the pandemic is over! And that the regulations are no longer valid! However then the fear and manipulability will not be gone from one day to the next and replaced by ease and self-confidence. The distrust, the insecurity due to the incomprehensible thinking and acting of others remains. Therefore there is also the concern that sooner or later another powerful group may use the fears to their advantage and stir up the populace.
Yearning for a new time
So my inner woman frequently muses if a human existence beyond this is actually possible. She finds herself yearning for a place and a time where people are at least working towards this. But this virus has affected the entire world, except perhaps for a few corners where indigenous peoples live far away from civilization. However she probably wouldn´t be welcome there. For being ‘civilized’ is a disease from the perspective of the indigenous peoples and we must heal our damage through civilization ourselves.
She also notices that she´s gained a few pounds since March that simply do not want to disappear again. She is eating too much, because what she is truly craving is hardly available these days: freedom, ease, trust and an honouring exchange with others. This will probably take more while…
For this pandemic seems to be much less about an actual physical disease than about a powerful psychic polarisation on all levels. Mercilessly Corona forces each one of us to show our truth. In extreme situations the true nature of humans becomes visible – in a good way and in a bad way. And the good moments and encounters are ever more precious to her and she meditates and prays that these may expand.
My inner crone
Serenely she is sitting on her porch swing and swings back and forth with a quiet pleasure. She invites my inner girl and my inner woman to sit down next to her. Then she says: “My dears, the time you´re currently living in is most likely the most difficult time in your current life. But this shall pass too one day. Furthermore it´s not the first time that we experience root canal treatment of consciousness.
Humanity is on the wrong path
Too many people have taken the wrong path for too long. This path has been leading them away from nature and their true potentials. They forget the truth of who they truly are. 
Instead they paid too much attention to their uglier features. Their greed for power and property and the idea that by supressing others and manipulating matter they can prove to father-mother-god that they actually can do without him. A cruel mistake. And generally it always goes wrong when humans place power over love and abuse nature instead of serving her.
Currently most people are yet again walking this path and the degree of madness has not reached its peak yet. Until the majority of humanity decides to choose a healthier path together things will become much more absurd. But that doesn´t mean you have to join the insanity. But you will have to witness it and sometimes that is even harder. However the shift is taking place at the very same time and that is what you can and must focus on and actively engage in it.
It´s not the first apocalypse
We went through this numerous times in our lives. There was Atlantis and Egyptand and Rome and more recently in Nazi Germany and a few of the communist regimes in many countries. We also experienced it in places and at times that didn´t even make it into the history books. For a system that so blatantly goes against the laws of life is doomed to ultimately ruin itself. And there are always a few who volunteer to ruin the old system and catalyse the others into a healthier way of being. As a species we will experience the apocalypse and post-apocalyptic stress until we live with nature again – not against it. Experiencing and supporting this change of heart is one of your passions.
Right now we are again at such crossroads. Everything, absolutely everything that is not in harmony with the laws of nature will collapse. This also applies to the according aspects in your lives.
We are in a process of becoming
And the feeling that goes with it is that of the unborn child who after nine month in the womb must approach the birth canal. It must leave behind the old and familiar- for it actually wouldn´t be able to grow there any further. But it doesn´t know the new yet and it seems threatening. It seems like a kind of death. But it won´t die, only its old way of being and notion of it.
At the same time life of the pregnant mother becomes ever more difficult: she is carrying too much weight, can hardly sleep anymore and has no idea how exactly her life will change with the arrival of the new human. She has mixed feelings. Sometimes she is looking forward to the tender moments, the playing together and giving her love to her child. In other moments she has doubts if she is actually fit to raise an intelligent and sovereign human since she deals with so many flaws herself. And sometimes she thinks that she doesn´t know what times lie ahead for this child.
But I can tell you: you all decided all to come here as a human during a time when the greatest change in consciousness on this planet is happening. Nobody is here by chance or accident. Each one of you is equipped to handle this, otherwise you wouldn´t be here. However many will decide to leave – which of course is okay too!
Whatever you are yearning for lies within
But the new place, the new time you are yearning for starts within you, n your awareness. Don´t worry about the collapse of the old, let go of our attachments. In death and in birth we are all alone, penniless and naked. At the same time we are totally free, full of potentials and the chance of new connections in the new life. That is what this about. Each one of you is put through a kind of centrifuge and everything, but absolutely everything that is no longer a match to your soul core will be hurled out. For in the times ahead it is absolutely essential that you get in touch with your own heart, hear the voice from the centre and follow it. This is the only way the necessary potentials can unfold.
Show mercy
And show mercy with your own errors and that of other – for an error is only removed by better knowing and that can take time. What counts is the motif in the heart and the sum of the deeds. Every human can be mistaken. Sometimes the good inadvertently do something evil, sometimes the evil inadvertently something good… One foul grape does not necessarily make the entire vine bad. Always be cautious and only follow your very own truth. And show extra respect to each one who realizes and admits his error and consciously changes his ways. For sometimes it requires more courage to change your opinion than to be faithful to it!
Let go of the old and manifest the new – it begins internally
The highest potentials unfold if each of you takes the place that matches his heart the most. And this in turn has something to do with your part in serving creation and the growth in consciousness. So don´t worry about the collapse of the old – it is necessary and inexorable. For so far you had a health system that alienated you from your self-healing abilities, an education system that blocked your creativity, an economic system that created poverty and a legal system that too often passes the punishment on to the helpless.
The current times primarily show you who you are not. Grieve the old that you need to part with, but invest more time and energy into the new for there it is greatly needed. Now is the time to direct your inner and outer attention towards what you truly want. For yourself and for everybody else. Where peace, health, creativity, abundance and justice are considered normal again. That is where your personal talents lie and those of your likeminded spirits. You came for the new time, for that which wants to emerge through you. Especially true freedom. Connect with those that love and honour life – not with those who fear and want to control it.
Love and laughter will show you the way
The new time and the new place begin inside you – you are the custodians of what is sacred to you!” My inner girl and my inner woman sigh blissfully and lean against our kind crone. For a while we silently swing back and forth. Suddenly the crone sits up. “And don´t forget laughing and loving- both of it will increase your creative power! It will also show you the way to true freedom. And that is so important right now for each one of you!”
To my inner girl she says: “Don´t escape into fantasies all the time. Find people who make the humour in all the current things visible. You can also learn a wise view of the world from them. Besides, it is never good to take life or yourself too seriously.” And to my inner woman she says: “Don´t forget to flirt! A healthy and active Eros is so essential for manifesting from love. And pay attention to the heart exchange with others – that is the foundation for the new way being together. You will recognize each other by your heart frequency and many more are already walking this path than you think! Open yourself to meet and create with them!” Then the crone gently pushes us out of the swing.
